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Saving the greatest nation on Earth, one snack item at a time.  

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Greatest Opening Article Paragraph Ever.

You’re in an online game of Shootface Corpsefucker, and you’re just flat-out cleaning house. Some of the players aren’t that great, and every time you nail one of them, they let loose with a geyser of homophobic slurs that would make Perez Hilton denounce penis. As the game ends, you notice that the guy with the lowest kills is going off in the chat window. (The following has been translated into human.)


(Source: cracked.com)

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Awwww, Kermie. I can’t count the reasons I love you. 

Awwww, Kermie. I can’t count the reasons I love you. 

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OH, HELLO!
Please bring these guys to #Sasquatch, too.
nickkroll:

Oooooh helllo. Me and john @mulaney enjoying a special NEW drink. #krollshow
View more Nick Kroll on WhoSay

OH, HELLO!

Please bring these guys to #Sasquatch, too.

nickkroll:

Oooooh helllo. Me and john @mulaney enjoying a special NEW drink. #krollshow

View more Nick Kroll on WhoSay

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HAPPY FUCKING VALEN-WINES DAY TO MYSELF!

HAPPY FUCKING VALEN-WINES DAY TO MYSELF!

(Source: herecomebaddays)

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Inner pupalogue: “Damnit Jenny! I don’t care if you only went pee, wash your fuckin’ hands if you’re going to cuddle me in your palms!”

Inner pupalogue: “Damnit Jenny! I don’t care if you only went pee, wash your fuckin’ hands if you’re going to cuddle me in your palms!”

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Finally an answer to that age old riddle, “Ever seen a cold fatty?”
No, fatties are always sweaty cause their bodies are le’sad. 
DUH!

Finally an answer to that age old riddle, “Ever seen a cold fatty?”

No, fatties are always sweaty cause their bodies are le’sad. 

DUH!