Greatest Opening Article Paragraph Ever.

You’re in an online game of Shootface Corpsefucker, and you’re just flat-out cleaning house. Some of the players aren’t that great, and every time you nail one of them, they let loose with a geyser of homophobic slurs that would make Perez Hilton denounce penis. As the game ends, you notice that the guy with the lowest kills is going off in the chat window. (The following has been translated into human.)